So this week I considered killing myself. My mind was nowhere near where it normally is… ultimately I obviously did not; however, I cannot discount my diet as part of the problem. I have been a binge eater for 19 years, and I have found it quite easy not to binge on keto– yet I haven’t learned how to deal with the emotions that I have suppressed with food for years.
This is a learning experience. Mainly just some notes right now, I am upping my carbs to 10% of my diet, and keeping fat at about 70% I need to keep myself from going off the deep end, so this is my answer at the moment. Also checking in with a dr and counselor 🙂
Gosh Saturday I was higher than a kite! Down 17 lbs and counting. I mentioned I was struggling to see any more weight loss and I was curious to see what this week holds… so far it held dropping .8 lbs than putting 3 lbs back on. My calories are still in the 1200 ranges, however, my protein, fat and carbs balance is weigh off.
Yesterday, I was all excited because I found a chocolate bar that a serving of would work within my goals. Not going to post brand, because for some people it is probably fine. For me it triggered eating like I used to eat and I wasn’t choosing healthy standards. I had corn pops… I don’t even LIKE corn pop. Sipped on soda–again flavors I don’t even like and topped of the night with a few spoonfuls of mac and cheese.
Felt sick for the rest of the night and now this morning I feel like crap. The scale made me sad and I am back on the wagon. Carbs beget carbs… the cravings and uncontrollable desire was so real. Holy smokes. Addiction isn’t easy to get over.
Thank goodness I have someone in my corner who is in the fitness industry helping me not give up. Get yourself a diligent support person… you are going to need it.
Trying to stay positive and hopefully my weigh in video will leave me happy again on Saturday!