Depressive Episode Keto

So this week I considered killing myself.  My mind was nowhere near where it normally is… ultimately I obviously did not; however, I cannot discount my diet as part of the problem.  I have been a binge eater for 19 years, and I have found it quite easy not to binge on keto– yet I haven’t learned how to deal with the emotions that I have suppressed with food for years.


This is a learning experience.  Mainly just some notes right now, I am upping my carbs to 10% of my diet, and keeping fat at about 70% I need to keep myself from going off the deep end, so this is my answer at the moment.  Also checking in with a dr and counselor 🙂



I Accidentally Gave Up Sugar and Processed Foods

—and I don’t miss them! I snuck a cheese-it from son’s snacks last night. Something in the not so distant past I would have grabbed a few handfuls of—it was TERRIBLE on my realigned taste buds. It literally tasted like how I would imagine a spoonful of mac and cheese powder would taste. It definitely didn’t leave me begging for more…. So why did it USED TO? Why does bread seem drier to me now? Why does a gooey brownie just seem over-the-top and not as satisfying? I think it is because, without intending to do so, I accidentally gave up sugar. I used to be the baked-goods queen… if it was a gooey double chocolate cookie I wanted it (and 10 more). What happened? How did I accidentally give up sugar… how did crackers and bread suddenly become mundane and blah? It happened, I think because I focused on macros in my diet instead of calories. By keeping my net Carbs to under 20g I reach for products that not only satisfy my need to eat, but also keep me at my goals.

By not having a calorie limit, but instead focusing on my body’s BMR as my max calories available in a day I found that I could be flexible with what I ate and still hit my macros. By looking at food in this way, I have accidentally retrained my mind to think of food as nutrition instead of heaven-sent mana that will solve every problem I have ever had.

This also meant that there just wasn’t room in the diet for a cookie because I would have to eat SO much additional food to balance out my macros that it just wasn’t worth it to me to have the cookie. In making these small daily decisions, I didn’t realize it but I was slowly breaking my addiction to carbs, sweets and chemicals designed to trick out brain into wanting more. Corn-syrup has been described as as addictive as heroin. It messes with our brains in a big way… yogurt is something we ALL consider healthy and yet it has TONS of sugar grams! When we went low-fat as a country the fat got replaced by sugar. We all know sugars burn fast in our bodies. When our bodies rely on sugars and glucose to fuel our day it burns through the energy provided quickly and then triggers our mind to say “need more.”

By training my body to use fat as its fuel source I found that my “need more” triggers are few and far between. My cravings are at a minimum and now if I want a sweet item it is because I want AND will be happy with a taste. When a bite suffices for the flavor enjoyment— and I don’t go back for 1o more—THAT IS A WIN!

I gained weight on Keto Week 4

So this week was frustrating!  I actually weight about 4 lbs more than this time last week.  Notes on this:

I have had terrible swelling in my legs in the evening due to heat.  At least some of this has to be water weight, but … still sucks.

I really messed up Monday and stressed ate.  This means that I likely dropped out of ketosis and it can take up to 4 to 5 days to get back into ketosis. I never tested with ketosis sticks so I don’t know for sure on this.

In researching ketosis I came across something I hadn’t learned yet– keeping your ADDED fat to under 30g a day for weight loss. Most of your fat should come from whole foods like eggs and avocados combined with the fats from your proteins that you eat. I decided to go back and count my added fat grams for the last 4 weeks to see if I could see a correlation to weight loss. This is what I found:

9/9 9/8 9/7 9/6 9/5 9/4 9/3
28 74 73 39 0 92 42
9/2 9/1 8/31 8/30 8/29 8/28 8/27
86 81 27 44 48 6 11
8/26 8/25 8/24 8/23 8/22 8/21 8/20
24 12 27 23 42 33 48
8/19 8/18 8/17 8/16 8/15 8/14 8/13
48 14 22 26 21 30 14

You can see Week one I ate an average of 25 grams added fat a day– I lost somewhere around 10 lbs that week.  Week 2 I ate an average of 29.9 grams of added fat a day and I lost about 7 lbs.  Week 3 I started struggling and I ended at a bit over 1 lb weight loss and ate an average of 43.3 grams of added fat.  Last Week I gained 4 lbs and had an average of 49.8 grams of added fat a day.   It is important to note at beginning of week 3 I transitioned to 75% fat in my diet so that could also have something to do with this trend.

For this week to study this issue I am going to keep my added fat grams under 30g and try to stay at 75% of my diet as fat to see what happens.  My hypothesis is that I will start losing weight again 😛

What is theory behind the added fat?  Why is that such a big deal? Your body turns to that as a preliminary food source.  So the thought is that rather than using stored fats it used the more easily accessible “straight fats”

Let’s see what happens next week!

Have a great journey. Onward and upwards!































Kidlets and Keto

Being a single mom of three and having a “special” diet is usually pretty difficult for me.  I find that cooking both myself something and them a different something never really works.  I also find myself short on time… quick and easy meals have been my go to for a long time. It’s why I fell into eating out as much as we did, and a lot of the reason why I gained the weight I have over the years.

So how is keto assisting with that?  Well for one… I am not eating near as much and pretty much going for simple- whole foods. This means that cooking takes very little time and I can cook a lot of one thing and just use it for my lunches.  (Now that I am one meal a day that works out splendidly. So for the lazy and cheap me this works!!

The kids though don’t have to eat like I do and they have foods they love that they should get to eat… pasta being a big one.  Sandwiches, bread, pancakes and even the occasional treat.  Some people might disagree with me, but my kids are all healthy. It seems to me that they can eat these things if they like them.

So how does that work? How is it possible to maintain a keto diet and feed other people a different diet? The FIRST Week or so I would not suggest trying this; I really wouldn’t.  Just fix things you can eat that your family can as well.  But after about the middle of week one I noticed my cravings were just gone.   I used to be a diet coke fiend… I actually had a diet coke during week three and it tasted terrible to me.

I am cookie and brownie person.. especially my own..  I was able to make brownies last week and a tiny sliver of one… those didn’t taste all that great to me either. I am finding I can cook for the kids and be ok.  This might not be the same for everyone, but I would say about week 3 is where I just am learning those tastes that were SOOO good to me don’t satisfy me the way they used to do.  I think it is because I am learning I don’t need those things for the emotional boost.

Good luck!

Water and Eating enough Calories

So last week I stagnated on this journey. I watched my weight fluctuate up instead of down… I ended the week at a loss, but it was frustrating.  Going back through my numbers I noticed a trend that I want to share.

A) I have always had a hard time drinking water… I was NOT drinking enough water from day one.

B) I got used to intermittent fasting and some days only ate 600 or 700 calories.  Those lower calorie days are when I stopped losing.

C) As soon as I started drinking a gallon of water a day and forcing myself to get the calories in (this meant one day 6 tablespoons of walnut oil which I know sounds unhealthy but I was literally NOT hungry and it was a way to get my fat calories.) My weight started dropping again.

I also started taking a one-a-day supplement to help with nutrients.  Also on the advice of another friend I set my total “allowed calories” for a day to my BMR at  For those of you who don’t know what your BMR is it is the minimum amount of calories you use just walking around daily.  Mine is higher because I weigh so much.  It give a bench mark for how many calories to eat up to– this is important because I think some people think Keto means they can eat whatever they want that fits macros and still lose weight.  If you start eating 4k a day you could possibly lose a bit at first but you won’t maintain that lose and really more likely will gain weight,

Also traditional health says eat on average 1200 calories at minimum daily.  (I know I am steering a little off of keto which talks about macros being what is important and calories less so;  however, I think balance is a good thing) I think if there are long term health issues that can come from eating under 1200 calories consistently (one day I only was at 350 calories) then I need to consider some of that as well.

I am still shooting for 75% fat, 20% protein, and 5% carbs.  I LOVE focusing on macros with a general goal of at least 1200 calories, because if I happen to eat a little to much protein I can offset with a little more fat… no harm done.  I don’t have to only eat 1200 calories, but as long as I get that much I feel like I am staying healthier. My body seems to agree as well. The myfitnesspal app has a great easy way to say your macro percentage and I am relying on that to help me get my food in check.

Going strong into WEEK 4 holy smokes!! 🙂